BECOMING A WOMAN. WORDS OF WISDOM FOR MY DAUGHTER WHO IS ABOUT TO FLY.
I’ve had eighteen years to prepare her to become a woman. But, somehow, that doesn’t seem like enough time. Being a woman is complicated. We have so many roles, responsibilities, and expectations that all seem to conflict with each other. So, how do I prepare her to navigate that, on her own, successfully? Because that’s the goal, to raise this beautiful person, to become a woman, who will be successful. Not my definition of success, or yours, or the worlds, but hers.
I’ve felt unprepared for this moment for a while. She has been spreading her wings, testing them, and I’ve given her the space to do so. Because that’s what we do., we let them test their wings, as women. But that also means less time, fewer opportunities to impart the wisdom I know she will need. So I started a list of what I wanted to say and turned that list into cards for her eighteenth birthday.
LAUNCHING MY DAUGHTER INTO THE WORLD AS A WOMAN
One card a day for eighteen days, each with one piece of wisdom I want her to know before she leaves for college, and a small gift card to help ready her for the solo flight from the nest.
She read the letter that explained how it would work and also expressed my pride and love for her. She tried not to let me see the emotion she felt; she had not expected to be welcomed into the sisterhood of women with wisdom.
1. YOUR TRIBE IS IMPORTANT:
Surround yourself with caring, strong women. Make them your tribe. They will push you to be better…do the same for them in return.
2. DON’T SET GOALS, ACHIEVE THEM:
Setting goals is great, but, do the work, the hard work, and achieve your goals. Sacrifice, gut it out, don’t stop until you achieve your goal, and then set one higher. Believe in yourself that you can do it; there are no boundaries that stand in front of you except the ones you place there.
3. ALWAYS GET BACK UP:
Resilience is important. You will trip and fall. Life will knock you down. So, take a moment to catch your breath if you need it, but don’t stay down, ever, always get back up.
4. FALLING ISN’T FAILING:
Failing only happens when you choose not to learn from the fall, or you choose to stay down.
5. GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE:
A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there. So, don’t get so comfortable that you stop growing.
6. IT’S OKAY TO FIGHT BACK:
Don’t go looking for trouble, but if you find yourself in a bad situation, stand up for yourself because it may save your life. Don’t worry about being nice if you feel unsafe.
7. IT’S OKAY TO CHANGE YOUR MIND:
If you made a decision and it doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to change your mind.
8. HAVE A VOICE AND USE IT:
Speak up for yourself and other women if you aren’t being represented properly at school, in the workplace, or in any other area. Because you deserve to be heard.
9. BE CAREFUL OF OPINIONS:
Everyone has an opinion, but you don’t have to listen to, or give value to, or internalize everyone’s opinion. Don’t let someone who has never done anything define who you are.
10. ABOUT APOLOGIES:
You don’t always have to say you’re sorry, there are times when you’ve done nothing to warrant an apology.
11. QUESTION:
Question your beliefs before you question those of others.
12. EXPECTATIONS ARE TRICKY:
Be careful with expectations, those you place on others, those you place on yourself, and those placed on you.
13. IT’S A BIG WORLD:
Do not let your world become small, ever. The world is a big place, get out in it, learn from it, let it keep your mind open.
14. MAKE MEMORIES:
Have experiences rather than stuff. Memories will last you a lifetime; stuff won’t.
15. KEEP IT SIMPLE:
Don’t accumulate so much stuff that your life becomes all about taking care of, paying for, or protecting stuff. Keep it simple so you can focus on taking care of yourself, investing in yourself, and protecting those you love.
16. BEING ALONE DOESN’T EQUAL BEING LONELY:
It is okay to be alone, sometimes it is necessary. You can be alone and not be lonely. But, don’t stay in relationships that aren’t working just to avoid being alone.
17. YOU CANNOT CHANGE OTHERS:
You cannot change what other people want, how they act, what they believe, or how they feel. The only person you can change is yourself.
18. CONFIDENCE IS HALF THE BATTLE:
There is a lot ahead of you that you won’t know how to do, don’t let fear be your response. Facing fear is a habit, don’t let fear win. Find your confidence and you are halfway to a victory.
My best friend and blogging partner, Shanna, also had the opportunity to share words of wisdom with her daughter. HERE are Shanna’s words of wisdom for her daughter. For even more words of wisdom, this is a great read from USA Today, Words of wisdom from famous women that still ring true.